You work out of a Hotel?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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