all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize