Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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