Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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