My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
