New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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