sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
