Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
