You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize