I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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