the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
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I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola