Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
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if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?