i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.