I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.