Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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