you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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