she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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