this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize