This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize