yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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