there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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