the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Damn victory sex feels great
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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