Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
