Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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