I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
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Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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