She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
