Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
