Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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