her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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