You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I could make wine with my vomit
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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