a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
