today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
