There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
