You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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