i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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