Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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