i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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