Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
