One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
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I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
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