on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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