So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
