just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
