she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize