This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
