I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
