We need to rekindle our bromance
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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