the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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