dude i'm inner monologue high
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You dont lie about slip and slides
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.