But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION