I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style