Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?