haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?