This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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