no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
