My brain says no but my pants say off.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
