Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
