Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
