New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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