toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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