Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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