see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
