Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
