He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
