I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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